An experienced that happened in early November of 2012 in Amman, Jordan:
The
Christian world in the Middle East has continued to be a foreign subject to me
regarding my studies and exposure. After last week’s experience with the Coptic
Church, I was able to see a church setting much differently than my own and
come to the conclusion that there were some similarities between the Islam and
Christianity in how sacred some things are. People’s mentality towards things
can be similar but in the Middle East it seems that strong practicing Muslim
and Christian women’s mentalities are very different.
Turns
out a group of BYU students have been going to the Greek Orthodox, Church of
Our Lady, on a weekly basis to their week night Sunday school type of class,
maybe more equivalent to an LDS institute class. They would go to practice their
Arabic and learn more about the Christian culture. This particular night no one
could go but one of the BYU girls. She couldn’t go alone so she invited me to
head on out. It also was supposed to be their Halloween party. We show up to
the church and quickly notice it is not a Halloween party (lucky I just used my
scarf from Scotland as my costume) and rather a normal class similar to the
class I went to at the Coptic church but there seemed to be many more people
and the father was speaking into a microphone so that everyone could hear him.
My friend Sally and I sat near the back after she looked for her friends but to
no avail, she couldn’t find them.
The
sermon was about a huge array of topics. Some of the topics included doing good
unto others and following the example of Christ. You could tell that everyone
appreciated the Father very much because each time someone spoke with a comment
or a question they would express gratitude for the Father. The chairs that
Sally and I sat in were almost like thrones, a large wooden chair with arm
rests. Turns out instead of pews, each chair was like this with not too much
room between you and the chair in front of you. When the sermon was done,
Lucy’s two women friends found her and began talking to her. Lucy introduced me
to them and they seemed to cling to me as close as they could without touching
me. While sitting in my throne like chair, they stood right in front of me so I
couldn’t stand up or leave if I wanted to. In the Middle East, I have learned
to keep a large bubble around me when it came to women, I would not allow them
to get near me and me near them. This bubble that I have spent two months
building was popped and I couldn’t do anything about it. I almost felt
physically violated because their legs were right next to mine and I couldn’t
do anything about it. They continued to stand in front of me as they talked to
others around them. And to my dismay, the Father showed up and wanted to greet
me. I wanted to meet him and speak with him but not in this setting. So I
lifted my hand up over the person sitting next to me and we shook hands from a
far distance. I was surprised he didn’t mention anything to the women and their
distance next to my legs. I finally had to ask them to move so I could get up.
These
two women then wanted to invite Lucy and I out to coffee and tea at a
restaurant type of setting. Lucy and I agreed but it seemed to take about 40
minutes to finally leave the church because the two women, including my friend
Lucy were busy talking to people of both gender, hugging and farewell kissing
non-stop. Lucy and I rode with one of the girls to this more modern café house.
The two women were more free in there dress, shoulders were showing, lower cut
shirts and they let their hair hang loose. This is again the opposite of the
conservative Muslims that I have met, they reminded me a lot of normal American
women with their appearance. I do not feel that these women were the type that
you would consider “loose” but were at more liberty to dress the way they
wanted and to speak with who they wanted. During our discussion at the café
while they drank their coffee and Lucy and I our shakes, they both vocally
mentioned they wanted to marry American men. I wasn’t sure that was a hint or
not to me but it sure they liked how American men are more forward in wanting
to date and having a relationship than Arab men are. They were fairly
attractive women in their mid-30’s and seemed to love to gossip. Shortly after
getting our drinks, another group of Lucy’s friends showed up and these two
women kept to themselves. I was able to hear their speaking topics which were
about the other girl’s clothes, how she was still single, and how she wore
glasses. Honestly, I think they were jealousy of her because the other girl
that just joined us, though maybe not as pretty as the other two girls, she
seemed to be much more confident and happy. After a long two hours in this café
we finally left without getting a ride from the one that gave Lucy and I a ride
back so we took a taxi.
This
was a whole new perspective to women in a different social setting. I have met
a good handful of Christian women from Jordan, most of them were Greek
Orthodox, and they all seem to be fairly independent women. These two women
seemed to be the rare of the rare in their interactions with me. I am not
offended or upset, almost rather more amused by their interactions because they
were so different than what I had expected to be the case. Though they may have
been on the extreme side it was a good picture of the difference between a
conservative Muslim woman and a Christian woman. The Christian women are more
open in what they want to say, they dress more freely and don’t seem to have
the pressure to get married or date like that Muslims do, or so it seems from
this situation.