Finding Peace

Finding peace is what we all strive for. Though there may be people that we think never seem to want to be at rest, we all desire the same thing. Sometimes we may be in denial that we are at peace when we really are. It isn’t rare to see that people can be in denial of their inner struggles. Surely, the first step to gain peace is to recognize what we are not at peace with and admit.

I have found myself in a similar situation. I have thought I've been at peace with events in my life, though there has been dramatic progress, to the contrary I have not been completely at peace. I have found that there is no one simple cure that is immediate though I've prayed that there is, in most cases it doesn't work that way.  I have many great things in my life that have been satisfactory substitutes and compliments, why has this still been a struggle for me? I had the gall to look her up on Facebook and noticed a smiling photo of her next to a smiling man. I could see that she was happy and I immediately felt happy. That’s all I've ever wanted for her. To see her happy made it much easier to find that peace. It’s almost like the feeling of knowing someone has come out of a dangerous surgery that went better than expected, like a heavy burden has been taken from you, or when in fact it is a relief with a sigh of deep gratitude for how the Master lets you know that everything will be alright.

The prophet Joseph F. Smith stated “But the healing of a wound is an art not acquired by practice alone, but by the loving tenderness that comes from universal good will and a sympathetic interest in the welfare and happiness of others.”

 The Lord promised through the prophet Jeremiah when He said: “I will turn their mourning into joy, and will comfort them, and make them rejoice from their sorrow. … I have satiated the weary soul, and I have replenished every sorrowful soul.” Jeremiah 31:13, 25

I am grateful for joy and happiness. I am grateful for the moments of sadness and hardships because it draws me closer to my Heavenly Father and Savior. To find peace is everything that our loving Heavenly Father wants us to have as we have the opportunity to live with Him again. I am grateful for the blessings I have in my life at this time, of which have been stepping stones to greater peace and joy. This isn't a cry that I'm not happy but rather that I am now happier. 

Taxi Drivers In Amman

                I’ve been in Jordan for over a month now. It hasn't been until I got to Amman that I took my first taxi. Growing up in the area as to which taxis were only for those that seemed to be only for business travelers or people that had not much money but used it as a way to get around when they absolutely needed it.  Taxis have always seemed very foreign to me so coming to Amman it’s been a real cultural experience.  Not so much the crazy driving, but more so the type of people that drive these taxis.

                My first experience in Amman dealt my friend Keith and I’s first morning in Amman. We were in a hotel for the night and getting ready to meet with our professor at the school which we would be attending. The hotel’s son recommended that we take a bus but we wanted a quick and direct way to the place. We must have seemed like a “Welcome to Las Vegas” sign because literally four taxis lined up along the street waiting for us to choose one of them. We started talking to the first taxi driver in line, he spoke English fairly well, while we were talking to them, two of the three other taxi drivers got out of their car and started talking to the taxi driver we were speaking to. Their conversation was in all Arabic and I had no clue what they were saying. It seemed like they were chatting simply to catch up with one another. They ended with the other two walking away upset at our driver. Reluctantly, it seemed we were stuck with this taxi driver as the other three taxis left.  He agreed to do the drive for three dinar, we knew we could pay it for less but we just wanted to get to where we were going. We didn't know there were meters, thought that maybe we were just paying a little bit extra, we later learned that if we were going off of the meter, it would have only cost a little over one dinar. One other aspect about taxis in Amman is that you need to tell them the general area that you want to go to. In this case, we didn’t know anything except that it was south of University of Jordan and on Queen Rania Street. Most Jordanians, especially taxi drivers do not know street names. So this didn’t help too much. Luckily, we knew the street number and the taxi driver asked other drivers through his window while we were in traffic where Queen Rania Street was, miraculously we found it.

                In taxis, if there are girls, they sit in the back seat. If it is girls and one guy, the guy sits in the front seat. This is cultural with the Islamic state that we live in. Women don’t talk to men in public. So later in our first week, we as a BYU group were heading to downtown Amman to get some delicious Hashem’s hummus. I went with a roommate and two other girls and I sat in the front street because I knew what to tell the taxi driver since I had been there before. What I didn’t know at that point is that you don’t take set prices; you always go with the meter. This taxi driver wanted three dinars and knowing that it was much farther than Keith and I’s distance from the hotel to our school, I figured it was reasonable. He was a big burly man, spoke English fairly well and had a sense of humor because he just laughed at all my Arabic attempts. He was pretty rude and didn’t seem to like us. We finally get to Hashem’s where I hand him a ten dinar bill, he puts it in his little stash on his side of the car and says goodbye. I am stunned, he just took my ten dinars without giving me change. I told him that we agreed to three dinars, he then says ok. He reaches into his stash, grabs a one dinar bill and hands it to me.  I had learned from a roommate that was in Jordan the summer beforehand that you needed to be stern with taxi drivers. So I sat in the charge telling him that he agreed to three dinars. He sat with a sly smirk on his face and didn’t seem to want to budge because he kept saying thank you and good bye. The girls and my roommate in the back seat didn’t know what to do. I encouraged them to get out and then I got out.  Before I got out, I told him that he was a very bad man (in my broken Arabic) and he laughed and said that he knew he was.

                I learned a few lessons about taxis thus far. Always have them restart the meter when you get into the car. Always have exact change for the payment. Never agree to a set amount. Don’t forget to talk to them and loosen them up, sometimes this will get them to be more kind to you.

                I have had many great experiences with taxi drivers. In fact, the taxi is where I feel most comfortable to practice my Arabic with. We had one that I remember understanding everything he was talking about and he seemed to understand me the whole time, it was a great feeling. Another older taxi driver was listening to older Arabic music, he began to dance with his arms held out in the air as if they were floating, turning his hands at his wrists like they belonged in a jet stream and his fingers rolled along. He then encouraged us to dance like him, mostly my roommate who was in the front seat. When we did it, he thought it was the greatest thing. Taxi drivers love to smoke (like most Jordanians), it was a little weird at first, but with the windows down and going as fast as they tend to do, it’s not a problem with the smoke and smell. Ironically, my first cigarette ever offered to me was here in Jordan while in a taxi. It seems to be the acceptable offer here.

                My roommates have a very different schedule than I do so they often get to the school before me. Because we live somewhat close and I need to save money, I walk to campus. Only twice have I needed to take a taxi on my own to get to campus in time of a class or a students’ appointment that I needed to record.  I get a taxi and proceed to tell them Mukhtar Mall (this is right next to our school, everyone seems to know where this little mall is located). We begin to talk, and I inquire about their family, work, and what they want to do in the future. To my surprise, when it comes time to drop me off, they offer the drive for free! Free!! Can you imagine that? Each ride is about a dinar’s worth and they offered it to me. I don’t want to risk my luck but it seemed to be a good thing when I take the taxi on my own.

                Taxis are great, they are fairly cheap and I feel most comfortable to practice my Arabic with the drivers. Maybe it’s because they can’t get away from me but they seem to enjoy it. It seems to be a lower end job, probably right above that of what the Egyptians get around here which is the dirty trash and service type of jobs. In short, be smart about the taxi you take, don’t let them cheat you out and talk about their lives and likely you’ll enjoy your experience with them. 

A Night of Jordanian Football

                I’ve never really been a huge soccer fan, or any sports type of fan for that matter, I always felt that professional sport games got in the way of practicing music or other means that were of more importance. In the recent years I have tried to be more balanced, do things I haven’t really done before that most people do, so when the opportunity came to go to a professional soccer game (or football called here in Jordan) I figured I should take the opportunity and go.

                There was word being spread about a football game, a competition for Jordan’s acceptance into the world cup. If they lost, they would be eliminated and the other team would move on, this team was Australia. My friend Keith and I gave some money to another BYU to buy our tickets in advance. When it got closer to the game, Keith and I decided to stay in our apartment to rest, do homework, and not deal with the hassle of a crazy international football game. Apparently there were roughly nine girls and four guys going which they were advised to have a 2:1 ration of guys to girls by their female Arabic teacher. We later received a phone call asking for Keith and I to come so there will be more guys, which we agreed. We took our own taxi to the stadium since the main group had already left.

           In our taxi we got stuck in traffic many times. When we got stuck in traffic along the street of the main gate, we had many Jordanian young men walking along side of the cars asking us, “Inta Australee? Inti maa Australia? Are you Australian? Are you with Australia?” Keith and I would respond with, “la, ihna maa Ilurdan. No, we are with Jordan.” The first two young men that asked us were so excited that we were with Jordan instead of Australia and called us their brothers. The rest of the young men didn’t believe us and continued their shouts for Jordan. Our taxi driver let us know that everyone will think we are Australian and that we should make sure we go to the Jordan gates into the stadium so we don’t get verbally abused or even physically abused. After many other young men coming to our taxi windows we were still stuck in traffic. A few times we would see groups of young men all of a sudden running fast towards us and away from the stadium. I later learned that that was because they were being chased off by Jordanian police with gas. Keith and I wanted to get out so we didn’t have to pay the taxi driver for his time. He told us not to get out until we got closer to the main gate. I thought it was for the fact of him getting more money for his time but I later learned it was really for our safety.

                We finally got close to the gate. Our taxi driver reminded us again to just go straight to the Jordan gates (versus the gate the Australian portion of the stands). We get out and quickly found ourselves in the middle of a chaotic situation with the crowds and police. These police stood in a line telling the young men to go away, I imagine threatening them with further gas, but I didn’t pay too much attention to what they were saying to them; I was focused on how to get inside the stadium and to find our group of BYU students. I walked through a hole in the line of police. One grabs me by the arm and begins to walk me towards the stadium with a gun in his other arm. I tell him that we have friends inside the stadium and need to get our tickets. He said we should go to the Australian side even though I confirmed to him we were with Jordan. We were escorted twice by the police to the Australian gate because this apparently was the best place for us to be. Our fellow BYU students were already stuck inside the stadium and were not able to give us our tickets. So Keith and I decide that we should just go home and miss the game because it was going to start fairly soon and certainly didn’t have any tickets to get in what already seemed to be an already sold out game. There were crowds at each Jordanian gate of young men, pushing and shoving to squeeze through the police at the opening gate but the police were doing the same back. Surely, we couldn’t get in that way and sit with our friends.

                Keith and I, with another last minute decision, decided to go back to the Australian gate and try our luck there. We were already there at the stadium; we might as well try to get in. It was very interesting because many Jordanian youth tried to get in on the Australian side, carrying Australian flags trying to convince the authorities there were with Australia. Keith and I told them our story of how we had tickets but couldn’t get them on the Jordanian side, the police told us they couldn’t help us but we waited to see what would happen. Later, a Jordanian woman (probably the only one I saw at the whole stadium) was in charge of helping the Australian tourists to get in. After hearing our story decided to let us into the stadium and to go quickly before others see that we got in without tickets.

Keith and I on the Australian side of the stadium.

                Inside the Australian side, we saw that our small portion of the stadium which was fenced off was not full at all. We saw proud shirtless Aussies doing cheers while the crowded Jordanian crowd rambled several Arabic cheers. We met a few friends on the inside; most of them were fellow Americans that are here studying Arabic that also got let in for free. Obviously the polices knew that this side of the stadium would be much safer. I began to worry a lot about our group that was stuck in the middle of the stands with Jordanians. We tried to call and text but most of the time, our phones didn’t work and if they did, we couldn’t hear each other because of the loud volume.

                I’ve never been to a professional soccer game, never been a fan, but I sure do recall of hearing crazy riots and attacks at soccer games, as well as that Arab young men can be notorious for sexually assaulting foreign women at these events. Jordan is winning with 2 points and Australia 0 points with only a quarter of the game left. I wanted to leave to avoid the riots and the attempted verbal or even physical attacks on us as being foreigners and on the opposing team. We tried to encourage the other BYU students to the same, but of course it was too loud for them to hear us and texting didn’t work. So we left, got a taxi fairly easy and then arrived home grateful to have avoided the later chaos.

Our view point from the fenced off area.
Straight ahead was where our other BYU group was located.

                Shortly after arriving home, I got a call from one of the girls from the main BYU group. I could hear loud sirens and “whooping” sounds from what sounded like an ambulance or police car. This girl called to see if we were still at the stadium at which I replied. I asked them if they were on their way home and she said they were in a police ambulance type of car. She said that the crowd got so crazy that they were bombarded by many of the young men that they sexually assaulted the girls as they tried to get out of the crowds. I later learned that one of the nine girls in the group strongly wanted to leave early like Keith and I did but the rest of the group wanted to stay to the end. Sadly, she was right to have wanted to leave. I continued to learn the greater details of what had happened and how some of the Jordanian young men created a line around the BYU girls so that others wouldn’t get to them, calling it “haram” or forbidden of what the other young men were doing. A few of the girls were devastated with what had happened while other girls just took it as part of the culture and were just fine with their sexual assaults.

                My heart goes out to those that were hurt physically and emotionally. I wish Keith and I could have been with them to help , I wish that the group was smarter in their actions. I wish that they had left early like Keith and I did but most of all I wish the girls that took the event light heartedly would be more sensitive to the girls that were highly disturbed by the night. Nothing ever gives men the right to sexually assault women, especially not a “culture.” They shouldn’t have gone even with the numbers of guys to girls that they had. They had to have known how crazy the crowds would be.  They surely were warned not only the day of the game that this would happen but also before they ever came to Jordan. Of course, being with BYU, we instated new rules regarding public events that there is 2:1 ratio of guys to girls.

                I think I am more concerned about all of this because I have personally tried my best to be with the girls from our program even if it is out of my way to make sure they aren’t bombarded by the infamous young Arab men, or what they are called as the “shabaab.” Now, a few weeks after the game, the girls that had the hardest time with it have expressed that it was hard for them to want to go out and talk on the streets as they should for school but that things are now getting better and were grateful for the young men that strived to protect them. 

Offence and Middle East Current Events

The atrocities of today’s assaults on the US embassies in Egypt and Libya are sad, scary and wrong.  Being currently in the Middle East, things are now not just an act on television that I will later talk about in a class the following day, but very real. Set aside political reactions and slanders, what can we learn from this event?

Libya's Embassy Attack
Egypt's Embassy Attack

Muslims at the US Embassy in Cairo

 

A film made by an Israeli-American in California was made known to the Islamic world in the last 48 hours. The film depicts the Islamic prophet Muhammad in offensive ways such as his multiple wives being taken in acts of adultery, the lies of the Qur’an and his ways of receiving revelation revolving around sex. This was not well received by the Muslims in Egypt and Libya.

The writer and director of this film obviously has an agenda to express his disagreements and hatred towards Islam. And there was no problem for him to post this online for the world to see. I believe he was wrong in doing so. But I also believe the Muslims that responded, responded because they chose to be offended.

Elder Bednar, of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles in the LDS church during a talk regarding him meeting with inactive members of the church stated:

 “Let me make sure I understand what has happened to you. Because someone at church offended you, you have not been blessed by the ordinance of the sacrament. You have withdrawn yourself from the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost. Because someone at church offended you, you have cut yourself off from priesthood ordinances and the holy temple. You have discontinued your opportunity to serve others and to learn and grow. And you are leaving barriers that will impede the spiritual progress of your children, your children’s children, and the generations that will follow.” Many times people would think for a moment and then respond: “I have never thought about it that way.”

 Regarding the Book of Mormon Broadway play:

“All hands on deck! There is an offensive play on Broadway about Joseph Smith and the Book of Mormon! Let’s go tear down their advertisement and block the doors so no one can get in to see it! In fact, let’s take down the stage manager that had nothing to do with writing the play!”

That is not a response that most, if not all members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints had.  In an article regarding the church’s new ad campaign with the musical, it quoted one of the play writers:

"The official church response was something along the lines of, 'The Book of Mormon' the musical might entertain you for a night, but the Book of Mormon — the book as scripture — will change your life through Jesus," Stone said. "Which we actually completely agree with That's a cool, American response to a ribbing."Stone said that "before the church responded, a lot of people would ask us, 'Are you afraid of what the church would say?' And Trey and I were like, 'They're going to be cool.' And they were like, 'No, they're not. There are going to be protests.' And we were like, 'Nope, they're going to be cool.' We weren't surprised by the church's response. We had faith in them."

I wish more of our Muslim brothers and sisters would do something similar. And to point out the pros, this does in fact happen. CAIR, Council on American-Islamic Relations, quotes Nihad Awad, the national executive director, just a few hours ago:

"We urge that this ignorant attempt to provoke the religious feelings of Muslims in the Arabic-speaking world be ignored and that its extremist producers not be given the cheap publicity they so desperately seek. Those who created this trashy film do not represent the people of America or the Christian faith. The only proper response to intentional provocations such as this film is to redouble efforts to promote mutual understanding between faiths and to marginalize extremists of all stripes.
"We condemn the attack on the American embassy, which had nothing to do with the production of this intentionally inflammatory film."

The point is, we can’t stop all people that may offend us but we can stop ourselves from being offended. I am grateful for the culture that I have been raised with to not be offended by what they do. These Muslims today chose to be offended. I admire the rest of the Muslim world that was not offended and acted in similar manners. I, too, had a bishop that once could have offended but I chose not to be. I’ve had close friends attack my own faith but we remained friends, working out the differences, and are now deeper in our matters with of faith and friendship. It is sad that such acts happen.  We must do our best as not to arrogantly offend people, and if we do so ignorantly or on purpose, we should apologize and stand corrected.

Do I feel safe in Jordan, yes. Could it happen here, absolutely. Will I be careful and smart about where I go, yes.

I will end with another quote from Elder Bednar’s talk: 

"One of the greatest indicators of our own spiritual maturity is revealed in how we respond to the weaknesses, the inexperience, and the potentially offensive actions of others. A thing, an event, or an expression may be offensive, but you and I can choose not to be offended—and to say with Pahoran, “it mattereth not.”

Welcome to Jordan

                                                                                                                                                                

Ahlan Wasahlan

                “Welcome to Jordan” are the first words I heard when I arrived to the Queen Rania Airport in Amman, Jordan.  These words were said in English. It seems that everyone wants to welcome me to Jordan once they find out I am from America, even after two weeks. I imagine it will be like this the rest of my time here, a period of four months. After working with many Arabs in the United States, I have come to learn a different culture but a culture I felt was subdued by the Western Culture in which they were present in. These are the people I study for school and my impressions I felt were altered a little bit. Maybe the Arabs I met were accustomed to Western thought and experience has transformed them. I knew I had to get to the Middle East for myself to see what the Arab was like; in his atmosphere, in his realm, and in his own home.  Jordanians are interesting folk, if you can even use the term folk. They are loud, thoughtful, deceitful, kind, helpful, ambitious, talkative, deceived, and patient. Now not all Jordanians are each characteristic I just mentioned, not at all. I feel those characteristics I feel can describe almost any society in the world. For my first assignment of writing about the culture, I’d like to explain my first 24 hours, my first welcome from the country, and my first impression of finally being in the Arab world.

First views of Jordan

               Air France. Don’t ever fly with them. Their customer service while on the plane is fantastic but their luggage transfers are subpar. This was their second time losing my luggage in Paris in less than a week. While at the airport I had my friend’s cousin, Hashem Al Nasser, waiting for me. He waited patiently, without smoking a cigarette for one whole hour in the airport, as I got my luggage situation taken care of. Hashem Al Nasser and I first met on Facebook (Most Arabs love Facebook); we hadn’t met in person prior to the airport. I was impressed with his ability to be patient with my luggage situation. He then drove towards Amman. Along the road, I saw families huddled around a small tent and camp fire (it was at night), probably cooking something with meat. I asked Hashem if this is where they lived, he said no, it was their way of getting out of the city and enjoying time with their family. We then went to dilwar ilbalad, or downtown of Amman. It was crowded and so bright with lights. We went to his favorite restaurant, Hashem’s. No it wasn’t his favorite place because of the name; I quickly learned it was because of the pita and hummus that was served. Just thinking of it makes my mouth water. Then he drove us around the city, demanding that we see at least one of the hills. You see, Jordan is built on many hills (or mountains), much of the old city falls between these hills where the water would run down. Now the city is much bigger and each area has its name. We drove down Rainbow Street, which is supposed to be where most foreigners were. We didn’t get out of the car, simply drove through the rigged traffic in a maybe two lane road. As we slowly drove down this street, we saw many cafes and restaurants, many of them with hookahs—an instrument to smoke basically anything you put into it. We then saw many women that were outside of what the media typically shows, they were unveiled, immodestly dressed and plastered in makeup. These women were surprisingly looked more like Arabs than foreigners. This is where Hashem invited me to get a girlfriend. The Arabs I saw were fairly attractive, much more in person than I expected, but a girlfriend was not an option because I already had one. He let me and my friend, Keith, use his cell phone to call our mothers back in the United States. He dropped us off at our hotel; it was a grand first night. We were ecstatic to be in Jordan and had a great introduction. Thank you to a new friend in a foreign land.

View of Amman from Rainbow street

Sun Rise Hotel was very interesting. It apparently is the oldest hotel in Amman, which I am sure it is one of the older hotels in Amman. It was run down, but it did have wireless internet. I found myself going down to the lobby asking for the password for the wireless internet so I could contact family and find the address to the place we needed to be the next day. It was no sooner found myself sitting down with the foondook owner and his friend helping them find companies that insure the oil rigs in the Persian Gulf. They later told me they wanted to buy stock in these companies because they thought they will become very rich if they did. I thought to myself why would they get rich from them? But I didn’t let it bother me too much. They then noticed my iPhone and asked if I was going to get the iPhone 5. They asked if it was really see-through, or transparent. I laughed and said there is no way they would do that. They must have seen the same predictions/fake photos of the iPhone 5 I saw on the internet. They then started to speak to me in Arabic—about politics. They asked me if I liked Obama and Bush. They began to state how profoundly they hated Bush because of the wars which he brought to the Middle East all for oil. They stated they didn’t like Obama but they also didn’t like Romney. They muttered that he wasn’t even a Christian, that America should have an American president.  “Mormons, don’t believe in Christ,” one said. “Why would America ever have a non-believing Christian?” “He is a Mormon and must be magnuun (crazy).” Even though their words were filled with disgust about this topic, I looked at them with some excitement. I said, “Ana mormonee zay Romney (I am a Mormon like Romney). “  I explained to them that I believe in Jesus Christ. They questioned all different aspects of how I believed in Christ. They then seemed to have run out of complaints about Romney and the Mormons. I knew at least one of them was Muslim because I had to wait for him to finish praying before I could check in.

They then went back into the topic of stocks for the oil insurance companies. It finally bugged me enough to ask them why they wanted to invest in these companies.

“Because we will get rich.”

“Why?”

“Because Israel and America will be at war with Iran very soon.”

“Why would you want war?”

“So we can get rich, very very rich.”

“I hope they don’t go to war. In fact, I don’t think there will be a war at all.”

One stood up and said, “I hope there is a war! I want to be a rich man.”

                This logic made great sense. Hate President Bush for bringing wars to the Middle East, say it was for his own personal gain for oil, etc. but then want a war just so you can get rich off of stock from insurance companies that we weren’t even able to find for the last hour. I wish I had known better Arabic at this moment because my response of why there probably won’t be a war and how they shouldn’t want for a war didn’t seem to reach them.  I encouraged them to invest in Google, Macintosh, or something they use. They didn’t want to do that. I went back to the hotel room, told Keith about the conversation and then realized I had lost my iPhone.

Our Sun Rise Hotel room

                That next morning, I prayed I would find my iPhone. It was my future lifeline for Amman let alone worth hundreds of dollars. Shortly after taking a cold shower, I got a knock on the door; it was the owner of the foondook which I spoke with last night. He pulled something out of his pocket and asked, “Is this yours?” It was my iPhone! I could tell from the case it was in but now it was all scratched up. “Yes! It is mine, where did you get it?!” “Come, follow me,” he said. I followed him all the way down the stairs and into the street. He said, “Hunna (here) my son found it at 2am in the morning.” He pointed at a spot on the street near the curb. It must have fallen out of my pocket or my lap when I got out of Hashem's car the night before. He knew it was mine from the photos on the phone (I always knew it was good to not put a passcode on the iPhone!) and he made something very clear to me. He said, “Here at my hotel, I don’t lie or cheat. In America, someone would have taken it. Now write a good review of my hotel on the internet.” I nodded my head, said several thank you’s in Arabic and went back to my hotel room. Wow, what an amazing man and son for not taking my phone, a very expensive one, too. He was honest and wanted to get rich through a war, what a great introduction to Jordan! And a prayer answered most certainly. 

                Keith and I soon after took a taxi to our next meeting place, charged us four dinars (about $7) which should have really been half a dinar (about $1). Yep, ahlan wasahlan to Jordan.

The Ghosts of Hobble Creek: A Father and Son's Tale

Hobble Creek's Grave: Father and Son, 

Father's Body Never Found

Photo of father, Robert Miller and son Billy Miller taken the summer before their deaths.

Hobble Creek, Springville, Utah in 1989 is the location and date of one of the greatest tragedies of all Springville history. It was in January that the reports of the greatest snowstorm to hit Utah and incidentally Robert Miller and his son Billy went out for a hunting trip down Hobble Creek Canyon. As the first signs of snow began to fall, the manager of Taco Bell found atop of Y Mountain, Martin Shean, sent out an emergency radio wave to all campers to not attempt the climb to Taco Bell. Robert Miller heard this call and decided that it was best they headed to KFC where resided the Great Colonel himself found on the opposing mountain view (on the other side of Lake Utah). This place was of greater ease of access for hunters that did not hunt so well. 

            Billy insisted that he have his daily fix of nacho chalupa. So he darted out into what was then beginning to be the great wall of china (in snow terms). Robert chased after his son and soon found that he was incapable of finding his son. Mulan came out and insisted that Robert go home, it was a lost cause to find his son Billy. Just as Robert was pondering the miraculous event of meeting Mulan in Utah, it began to dawn on him that it was beginning to be dark. He searched all night with only his handy dandy Energizer (insert advertisement, $?) flashlight. 

          One week later, searchers, who were utterly disappointed because Taco Bell on the ridge of Y Mount was completely destroyed from the snow storm, found no trace of Robert or Billy. Another week later, they found Billy's body in a cave. But no one could find the body of Robert Miller.We would then find Mulan in her own feature film sponsored by Disney nine years later.

          It is said for the hikers who pass through Hobble Creek Canyon during the night see a light shine on them and then disappear and whimpering and crying of a young boy. Many say, these are the lost souls of Robert and Billy Miller who never found each other. This could be the lost career of Michael Jordan explained. This may explain the failure of Hanes comfort waist band. But then again, this writer doesn't wear Hanes. So much for Hanes. 

To watch the video of said ghost story and the Ghost Seekers interactions with Robert and Billy.

Pulling Through

Hello, how are you? Fine? A little stressed? Yeah, I know the feeling. And it's okay, it's all going to be alright.

Tonight, to make room for the newly acquired item I bought (a 2 liter of A&W Root Beer to help with finals studying), I pulled out my almost empty gallon of milk and set it on my table. After a very short while of it being out, I thought to myself, "Oh, I should drink that milk." I figured I would drink it straight out of the container since it was only so little. I lifted the container to my mouth and begin to taste that first sip of my 1% milk. It instantly gave me a strong emotion, the kind you get when you experience something you didn't even think would happen. The milk was warm and almost instantly the rest of the milk ended up down my neck and shirt. There's a little left, actually. I don't think I want to finish it if I don't have to. I'm sure this has happened to all of us.

Sometimes life is like an almost empty gallon of warm milk, you just don't expect it. It could have been worse, I guess spoiled or filled with weird chunks. The last six months I have experienced a lot of warm milk that have spilled all over me in several different cases. You start to think what's wrong with yourself? You apologize to others and try to do things better but it seems to mean nothing. It's like your life crumbling similar to that sand castle you so carefully built, carving the towers and walls, and digging a deep enough moat to stop the waves to even getting close to your mighty castle. But somehow it always gets through the moat. Is something wrong with me? Am I not good enough? I thought I was strong enough to handle this, but I've found out that I'm now broken and in need of repair. It's taken a long time, many hours of prayer, endless tears I didn't think I had, and facing reality to get where I am today. And it's okay, it really will be alright. Just keep moving forward and you will pull through. Even through worse cases, like spoiled and chunky milk. Best realization is that God loves broken things.

"And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them." Ether 12:27

Joseph Smith and His Family

This morning I woke up early with normal stomach pains that I've been battling for a handful of years now so in order to try to fall back asleep and attempt to subside the pain in a different way than normal I decided to pull out my Joseph Smith books, study a little more about what he had done. I came across a few passages that were from his letters while he was in Liberty jail and they mentioned his family. I am always amazed with what he had to say and what he did for them but it hit home a little bit more this time I think because a family is the thing I want more than anything. I'd like to share some of these passages I found. Not all are from his letters from Liberty.

Joseph and his family had family prayer:
Words of William Holmes Walker from his diary found in the BYU library: My Father sent me to Nauvoo on some business with the Prophet. I arrived at his house just as his family was singing, before the accustomed prayer. His wife, Emma, was leading the singing. I thought I had never heard such sweet, heavenly music before. I was equally interested in the prayer offered by the Prophet. Much pleased with my visit, and my business accomplished satisfactorily, I returned home in a few days. (TK, p. 147)

How we should treat each other:
Letter to the elders of the church, Kirtland, 1 September 1835: Fathers should be kind to their children, husbands to their wives, masters to their slaves or servants, children obedient to their parents, wives to their husbands, and slaves or servants to their masters. (HC 2:263-64)

Select letters to his family from Liberty and Richmond jail:
Letter to Emma Smith, Richmond, Missouri, 12 November 1838. Written two weeks after he was first incarcerated on 31 October 1838: God grant that I may have the privilege of seeing once more my lovely family in the enjoyment of the sweets of liberty and social life; to press them to my bosom and kiss their lovely cheeks would fill my heart with unspeakable gratitude....Tell little Joseph he must be a good boy. Father loves him with a perfect love. He is the eldest [and] must not hurt those that are smaller than him, but comfort them. Tell little Frederick Father loves him with all his heart. He is a lovely boy. Julia is a lovely little girl. I love her also. She is a promising child. Tell her Father wants her to remember him and be a good girl. Tell all the rest that I think of them and pray for them all....Little Alexander is on my mind continually. Oh my affectionate Emma, I want you to remember that I am a true and faithful friend to you and the children forever. My heart is entwined around yours forever and ever. Oh may God bless you all, amen. (PWJS, pp. 367-68; standardized).

Letter to Emma Smith from Liberty Jail, 4 April 1839: I think of you and the children continually....I want to see little Frederick, Joseph, Julia, and Alexander, Joanna, and old Major [their horse]....I want you should not let those little fellows forget me. Tell them Father loves them with a perfect love, and he is doing all he can to get away from the mob to come to them. Do teach them all you can, that they may have good minds. Be tender and kind to them. Don't be fractious to them, but listen to their wants. Tell them Father says they must be good children and mind their mother. My dear Emma, there is a great responsibility resting upon you, in preserving yourself in honor and sobriety before them, and teaching them right things to form their young and tender minds, that they begin in right paths, and not get contaminated when young by seeing ungodly examples. (PWJS, PP. 426-27; standardized)

Joseph Smith Jr. was a beloved son, brother, father, and husband. As we see through just these few quotes he had an extreme amount of love for his children and wife. Not only did he express it but so did others mention in their diaries. I think to my own parents, namely my father and the amount of love that he has for my brothers and my mother that I can't help but imagine if he were in a similar situation to Joseph he'd write very similar letters filled with compassion and love.

I am grateful for the plan of salvation that makes it clear to me that my family will be sealed to me and me to them for all eternity. Someday I will have my own family and I am so grateful for them already. I was so close to one woman that I was able to imagine and even plan what it would be like to have a family with that my level of understanding and love increased for my future family. It did not work with this sister and my heart is still heavy over it. My understanding and perspective of the great plan of salvation has helped me to move forward day by day. I don't know how people can move forward without this knowledge. Joseph revealed this knowledge, this probably is a major factor as to why he loved his family so much. I hope to have that same happiness with a family of my own someday.

The Mormon Church and the Israeli Palestinian Conflict

The Israeli and Palestinian conflict is a very hot topic. Many usually have a biased opinion before they even bother to look at the other side because that's what they've been taught. In United States we see much pro-Israeli media and financial support (something like 10+ billion a year) probably for what is called Zionism.

As a Latter-day Saint growing up I often heard from Sunday School and Seminary teachers that we need to support the Jews because they will be on the right side. What side were they talking about? Now that I have been studying the Middle East and its modern and past issues for the last 4 years at Brigham Young University, I have seen that much of those teachings were only the teachers' opinions, not actual church doctrine. Official church doctrine and opinione are two very BIG differences because one is concrete and we should follow, the other is just commentary that we just don't know if it is true or not (and nor does it make a difference in our eternal progression here on earth). 

Below is a portion of an address given by my professor James Toronto and his wife at a BYU Women's Conference in 2001:

" My third and final example of how a skewed understanding of doctrine can lead to unkind attitudes and behavior is close to my heart and personal experience. For the past 25 years in my work in the Middle East, I have read and heard expressed many times the view that LDS teachings about the gathering of Israel and the establishment of Zion imply that the Church supports the Jews in their struggle with the Palestinians and other Arabs in the Holy Land. There is not time today to discuss adequately why this is an inaccurate interpretation of LDS doctrine and a misrepresentation of the Church’s stance on this extremely complex international political issue. Suffice it to say for now that LDS authors, speakers, teachers, and celebrities who advocate and perpetuate these views are not official spokespersons for the church, even though they are often perceived and cited as such. Many times over the years I have had conversations with Arabs and Muslims, including many students at BYU, who are friends of the Church but, having read this popular LDS literature about the Middle East conflict, are deeply troubled by what appears to be strong bias in favor of Israel. Some of these unofficial and inflammatory LDS writings have even appeared in Arab newspapers in the Middle East purporting to represent the Mormon view on this issue. This problem is especially painful for members of the Church who are Arab (and they are numerous, active, committed, many having served missions and been endowed in the temple) who love the Gospel but are greatly perplexed and saddened when they encounter attitudes among fellow members that reflect a pro-Israeli, anti-Arab prejudice.

            Those who do speak officially for the Church–the First Presidency and the Twelve– have never expressed support for one side over another. On the contrary, they have exhibited scrupulous impartiality in all their utterances and actions dealing with the Middle East crisis, and have sought tirelessly to build strong relations with both Jews and Arabs in an effort to bring about greater peace and stability in the region. Elder Howard W. Hunter, who had in-depth understanding of Middle Eastern issues, once addressed this concern in a talk at BYU:

As members of the Lord’s church, we need to lift our vision beyond personal prejudices. We need to discover the supreme truth that indeed our Father is no respecter of persons. Sometimes we unduly offend brothers and sisters of other nations by assigning exclusiveness to one nationality of people over another. Let me cite, as an example of exclusiveness, the present problem in the Middle East–the conflict between the Arabs and the Jews. . . . Both the Jews and the Arabs are children of our Father. They are both children of promise, and as a church we do not take sides. We have love for and an interest in each.^{[i] "}

Toronto, James and Diane. “No More Strangers and Foreigners.” In Ye Shall Bear Record of Me: Talks from the 2001 BYU Women’s Conference. Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 2002.

 I believe with what President Hunter stated, "we have love for and an interest in each" because guess what? We have a love and interest in everyone on that lives on this earth, no matter what religion or ethnicity. I read an article given to me by a friend who studied at the BYU Jerusalem Center written by a member of the LDS church in a Hebrew/English newspaper. He stated in this newspaper that any Mormon that supports Palestine does not understand what it means to be a good standing member of the church. I commented on his article stating that his facts with the conflict were correct but that his statement of not being a good standing member of the church was incorrect.

Let it be clear that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints does not condemn one over the other because of their religious affiliation (there are many Christians in Palestine that have been there since the time of Christ). The church does not support any such opinion that one is more righteous than the other, that we need to choose which side to be on, or that Judaism will be the victor over the Muslims. These opinions are simply just those, opinions.

My opinion?
Both are at fault when it comes to the conflict. Both need to learn to love each other. And my Sunday School and Seminary teachers were ignorant in this area for teaching false church doctrine.

Do I support one side over the other?
No, I believe the oppressed deserve to have an equal voice.

Do I feel my testimony has been shaken because of these opinions that I've been taught? Absolutely not. There are no hard feelings towards them and my testimony of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ is even more firm through experience and prayer.

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[i]. Howard W. Hunter, “All Are Alike Unto God,” BYU Speeches of the Year, 1979, pp. 35-36.

Lessons Learned in 2011 - What Is Really Important?

The year 2011 was an amazing year. I turned a quarter century, began BYU's second year of Arabic, gained everything that life had to offer for me at the time. It was full of scary, sad, and happy moments. I learned more of myself and how others feel and work. It seems the more I learn the more I realize how much I do not know and how everything is in God's hands. I met many great new people and built better relations with those I already knew. I hopefully didn't harm friendships and if I did, I am sorry for anything I have done wrong. I thought I'd put out a list of things I learned this year.

1. Buying a used laptop on eBay can be cheaper money wise but so is your experience with the item.

2. When I am home and the whole family gathers together in my parent's home, it is so loud! I now have 5 nephews and 2 nieces under the age of 7. I think my parent's need a bigger house. 

3. I learned how to appreciate the great weather of San Diego just a little bit more. It was sure warm this Christmas break and my few trips during the summer were great. 

4. I learned how much I appreciate my brothers and family. Click here

5. Money isn't everything and we must be wise about it. We get sucked up into how much money we are going to make and pleasing others that we forget have faith that all will be okay after we do all that we can. I also learned that I can be more frugal with my money and make better choices on what I do with it. 

6. I learned how hard Arabic really is. It is a beast and I will conquer this beast.

7. I learned what it would be like in graduate school and that I will survive it. I had an upper level class with the topics on contemporary Islamic issues (I will post my findings on here someday). There were only two of us in the class and as me and the other student turned in our final paper on the very last day of finals week, I couldn't be more proud of how we worked together so well and learned in a setting that I loved. Our professor was very happy with our efforts. It was a great a great boost after a time of lack of confidence in myself. Probably my happiest moment in my academic life. It told me I can do it, I can accomplish my academic goals. 

8. I never loved anyone more than I have than this last year. I never felt so high on life and the gospel. I learned a new level of being closer to my Father in Heaven. I learned how happy and confident I could be in life. I was the best man I had ever felt like I had ever been, even better then how I felt on my mission (which says a lot). I felt indefinitely in debt to her and the Lord because of how she made me feel. For the first time, I felt I had a purpose with another individual that I had been yearning for. What a miraculous feeling! I learned more than ever what a best friend meant and how happy a relationship could be. To me, no one was more of a princess than she was. 

9. In contrast, I learned what depression and heartache was. I felt more lonely than ever before. I felt a strong sense of loss of confidence and happiness. It taught me what others may feel, those that didn't have friends or something missing in their life that stopped them from doing their best. It was really helpful to have these feelings because I now can see a little better the life of those who struggle with sadness and depression. It is not a fun experience and I hope to be a better support for those that are struggling.

10. I learned that even though things may seem lost, we can still pick up and do better than what we think we can do. I can do anything and I will accomplish more than what others think I ever will.

Those are just a few, there are many many more lessons I have learned that I do not want to bore you with. But I'd like to share one last one that I learned more of this year and that is the reliance upon the atonement of Jesus Christ. I am nothing and He is everything. Heavenly Father loves me so much that he would give up His only Begotten Son for everyone that has and will live here in this beautiful world. I learned a little more what the power of prayer can be. I learned a little more of what it means to serve those around you. I learned a little more of how precious others are to God. My testimony is stronger, my ability to discern right from wrong is clearer, the spirit speaks a bit more sharper, and my love for my Savior has reached a new level. I got to do what I am commanded to do. I must keep breathing. I must keep myself clean from the stains of the world. I must keep the commandments. I must give more of myself into the hands of the Lord and trust that will all work out.